Pool

I keep having this weird dream. It's as if a tv set is playing in the background of my headspace somewhere; some nostalgic home movie in polaroid colours. I'm 14 or 15, I'm wearing my hair longer than I ever did. I'm more beautiful than I ever was. Space stretches forever in every direction.
There's a portly balding man standing beside me mopping his brow, he's showing me his plans for a big outdoor pool he wants to build in the park. He's desperate to impress me but I'm swinging upside down on a climbing frame, hair covering my face. I'm singing loudly.. Some 90s popsong about sex and drowning. He's trying to talk over me, trying to ask what I think of his plans. The man has beady eyes like an insect set in rolls of skin and he can't stop sweating. The sun is searing red through my closed eyelids and there's a joint burning down between my fingers.
Sometimes in the dream our perspectives shift. Something's wrong and I'm rotting, trapped in a congealed mass, the flesh sags off my frame so you can't tell where the bones are. The sun's too hot, my head is filling with blood. I'm afraid. I want to be submerged.. a big glittering expanse of water swallowing me whole.

When I wake up the dream keeps playing in the back of my mind, like another layer of reality. The popsong, the glittering water, the heat of the sun. The fat man watching me with hungry eyes. I don't know what it means.

I'm drifting..